The second musical interim statement of the year was dragged on for an unacceptably long period. The market was keeping itself busy with shares taking such a sharp upwards turn that even the loosest relaxed fit chinos from Dressmann had trouble covering their fully erect condition.
Last year, our company tried to be positive despite all the lonely grinding and boring Teams meetings. The most joyful gay disco anthems, wonderfully clunky eurodance songs and retro Italo tracks, nu-disco synth pop and happy house tunes joined forces so that we could somehow endure.
And we didn't give up, even though there were moments when we would have given anything to get back to the office, to hang around by the comfortingly bubbly spring water dispenser. We would roll up our sleeves, swing our ties over our shoulders and throw crumpled paper balls into a mini basketball hoop.
But somehow time just flew by. The April–June period passed, as did July–September. Nothing resembling a Q4 report was left for posterity from October–December either. Perhaps we felt that we were not accountable to anyone and left the market hanging, waiting for a perfectly timed move that never materialised. Finally, the teasing, lingering gaze of desire was turned away and the ice cubes were left to melt into the drinks. Our entire state of being watered down, diluted and faded. A feather boa and pink stetson were abandoned on the deserted dance floor.
It was only with this spring that we decided it was once again time to strike such a busty pose that a nip slip was only millimetres away, to proudly display and give centre stage to the bootilicious beat of pop, to allow oneself to be a target for hungry eyes and the stuff of daydreams. To be a shamelessly pushy wannabe on social media and let flashlights reveal the true content of pop underneath some scanty upholstery that's enough to get your sinful fishnet stockings in a twist. To show off one's beach credibility in an outfit that can barely be called a bikini, with as much fabric as a hamster's neckerchief.
And we don't care if the tabloids try to accuse us of having always enjoyed our pop the wrong way and give five tips for a more thrilling listening experience, or daytime talkshows drag experts into the studio to tell us how life is ruined if we don't invest in proper suction power and lubrication.
Because why reflect and mourn the past when you can live in the here and now? You can blast out 90 songs at once if you feel like it. About six hours of auditory pleasure. It's understandable that it can be too much for some to process in one sitting, so the Top 10 from the last three quarters of the previous year has been compiled below, a catchy 40-minute long set, which can be enjoyed as an inspiring soundtrack or background music while tinkering a DIY insect hotel, staining a milking stool, digging a tar pit or masturbating.
Duran Duran, rightfully one of the best bands of all time, rises to the top of the top ten, whose comeback album is an exceptionally solid set, especially compared to its many uneven predecessors. Several selections from the album have been included in the 2021 lists, but Beautiful Lies, created together with the grandfather of disco himself – Giorgio Moroder – is completely irresistible.
The other ten diamonds filtered from among the 120 top songs of the past year have been chosen – less surprisingly – primarily on the basis that they represent modern electronic music in the most satisfying form to yours truly: melodic, elegantly referencing their predecessors, catchy, inviting to dance and conjuring up an ecstatic club or gig feeling.
Simply put: Enjoy!